its been a while.

alots gone down lately. i have a 32 average in school. fuck.
two nights ago was a fucking nightmare. pull back. connect.
"get up pussy! you think your a fucking man? get the fuck up and fight me"
stand up. wait. connection. stomach. down again.
no tears.
no tears.
no tears.
"get the fuck up you peice of shit, you punk!"
stand up. wait. connection. ribs. one more. ribs. down again.
spit hits the side of my face. i dont have enough left in me to even wipe it off. crawl into the bed in the corner of my one fucking bedroom apartment. no privacy. i lie there shaking.
the next day was amazing. i got to see you. thank god. for the few hours i got to see you i forgot about the pain, the bruises, the night before. it was just me and you and nothing else.
you save me from this fucking bullshit life im getting so sick of.
today im sore. it hurts when i breath. i needa get out. away. somewhere where i dont have to deal with this bullshit.
im making this vow to myself today. im gunna graduate highschool, and then get the fuck out. leave. i dont know where, but i sure as hell know that it isnt gunna be this shitty little one bedroom apartment filled to the brim of anger and a dad who thinks he understands but really doesnt.
it sure as hell isnt gunna be that bungalow with a drunk mom who acts like she cares about me when she really just cares about the next rich bald guy shes gunna bone and rob so she can buy more liquer.
hey mom, wheres all that fucking child support that should be going to me? sorry? you dont know where $2000 per month PER FUCKING KID went? and you still need the fucking money out of my fucking bank account? you steal money that i work for then you go in my fucking room and steal money that i owe? FUCK YOU!
im getting out. im getting out soon. come along? escape with me? i know your not enjoying home. dare i call it home? its a house. a shell protecting you from rain and cold. come with me. weel make a home. an asylum from the worlds sick corruption. a shelter from the bitter sweet taste of the human population. an eternity of existance in eachothers arms. save me. i need you to pull me out. im in deep and i need your help. we've already made it this far. give me some time and i promise i'll get better. we'll get better. light up the darkness of this bleak existance chilog. i promise, i'll make it worth your while. i love you.